Monday, March 4, 2013

Pros and Cons of a Short Engagement

Mr. Lemur and I will have been engaged for about seven months by the time we get married. Whether or not you consider that a short engagement (I actually think it's more like mid-length), it's definitely shorter than the average of about 15 months—apparently 40% of couples have a 13–18 month engagement. Mr. Lemur and I fall in the 27% of people who are engaged 7–12 months, but there's another 30% of people who have an engagement longer than a year and a half!

Before I go all statistics crazy on you guys (it's tempting), let's bring it back to what I actually want to talk about. Ahem.

To be honest, I had originally planned on having a longer engagement. Not long but average standards, but more in the 9–12 months range. This didn't happen because one, it took longer to get my ring than anticipated. (Hey, it was worth the wait!) And two, we ended up pushing the wedding date much closer to graduation than I had originally planned for a variety of reasons. Most importantly was that Mr. Lemur has family around the globe (Africa, Yap, and Utah, you guys!) and traveling was going to be both a major expense and logistics mess. So, we scheduled everything for the same weekend and decided to just go with it.

Personal photo / Hiking in Utah with Mr. Lemur & his younger brother—a beautiful state!

No, I don't regret it! But there are definitely pros and cons.


  • You'll experience less wedding burnout. Even though I've only been planning for five months, I already feel a good bit of "wow, can we just get this over with already?" I can't imagine how I would feel fifteen months into an engagement. 
  • There's a greater focus on what really matters. Sometimes I look at other projects and think "if I had more time, maybe I would attempt that..." Then I come back to my senses and realize that it's not only unnecessary, it doesn't even fit our personalities! Having a shorter engagement makes me prioritize what is really important. 
  • You don't have to wait (duh)! For those of you who are impatient (*cough* me), a short engagement means you get to move on past this stage in life to the next. I'm excited to no longer be in a long distance relationship and to actually live in the same city as Mr. Lemur.

Personal photo / I get bored of just words—so how about a mildly related family picture?

  • It can be really, really hard to find vendors. Do you guys remember my original venue post? I had a number of venues I really loved but were booked seven months in advance. I ended up with a venue that I love, but I do wish I would have had more time to choose. 
  • You'll have less time to do the important things. No, I don't mean doing calligraphy on 350 escort cards. I mean the really important things. For those who don't currently live with their significant others like me, this means finding an apartment, finishing school, hunting for a job, and oh—a gazillion other life decisions. 
  • There's more time to save. Whether you're paying for your wedding yourself or your family is helping you out, you'll have more time to set away money for your wedding. This might also mean you spend more, but that depends on the family!
Anyone want to add to my list? Did you have a long or short engagement? Regrets? Things you wish you had done differently?

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